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Queen Complex

Updated: Dec 20, 2022

Some older women have endowed themselves with the status of royalty to reveal a veneer of defensiveness.

Sunflower Crown

Who doesn't want to be queen for a day? It's a saying and attitude that entitles you to have whatever you want when you want and delivered at your feet by adoring fans or more negativity, servants. But it's' seen as a joke, a farce, something playful, within a society with actual queens and kings as sovereigns. But recently, I've noticed that some women over sixty wear a mantle of sovereignty as a permanent attitude. At first, I would giggle because these women presented, in their exaggerated stature, their raised chin to the clouds, and how they would speak as if they were not to be interrupted. I thought it was funny and a bit of a joke until I saw that they were deadly serious.

I wondered why they couldn't see themselves as others do or why not just one but quite a few women have this egoistic facade. I came to understand that it's a time in their lives that they feel have awarded them a title of bearing many trials and tribulations and that finally, they can command the audience that they justly deserve. In part, I agree with them they deserve medals for surviving years of perpetual patriarchy and the expected subservience of our gender. But it does make them seem a little comical, to be carrying themselves in this manner in this new enlightened era. Whenever I encounter women of self-entitlement, I know I need to hold my ground in conversation, otherwise I will be talked down too. I don't want to disrespect them it's a matter of claiming my space along with hers.

The mantel is a significant piece of armour that queens wear as a barrier to the outside world. It protects the most vulnerable part of their body, their heart. This heart has been broken, abused, disrespected and reconstructed in distorted ways, which needs to be massaged back into its original shape and form. But that's no easy task for someone who has given all her life to everyone around her and kept very little for herself. The queen complex has risen out of pride, suffering and a renewed feeling of strength, so what does she need from us to make her feel rewarded and appreciated: acknowledge her achievements, be patient and encourage her to see outside of herself. An attitude like this is all-consuming and can cause a spiralling of negativity, there's not much one can do unless you're a close friend or relative who can encourage her to live life-a-new as if the past was just that, the past.

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