Updated: Apr 18
It’s Monday and I already wish it was the weekend. What is it when the day just doesn’t go right? And when the day before goes super right, like I find money on the pavement, I get the audition in my mailbox that I have dreamt of, and I won Lotto, albeit it was only $23 but still, you get the picture. Then the following day I wake up after a strange dream, feeling chilled, and bumping my leg on the sharp corner of the bed, that’s how it started. Then I am late for an important appointment, I’m never late, I lose my beanie in the Uber, and again I crash into a door on the way into the grocery store, what the hell? Nothing major but it makes you wonder how and why our rhythms are so varied from one day to the next.
I think it has to do with moods and discoveries; for instance as I realise that I’ve been putting up with a situation that is not working in my favour I get frustrated so I start to think negatively, and project that negativity out to the universe, that’s when I find that my day doesn’t go so good. On the flip side when I’m excited about life and how it’s going it all seems to flow and nothing bad happens, in fact, it attracts more good stuff. In the past few days I haven’t meditated either which I find helps settle any negativity or frustration I may be feeling, it’s like a reset.
But wait I just remembered the hot water in the shower was tepid this morning, that was certainly not of my doing, so is it a cosmic thing? Is it some kind of cycle, measure or quota of good and bad that each of us are allotted? And come to think of it finding and winning money could be put down to odds, something a little more mathematical, bumps and accidents to an off-balanced equilibrium due to what? Feelings maybe, an unsure footing or groundedness and bla bla bla, what we all call an off day.
I don’t believe in simple throw away explanations though, that’s why I’m always watching the science channels, there’s either a scientific or metaphysical reason for everything. I don’t like the unexplained, all that means to me is that we haven’t found the answer yet or aren’t looking hard enough. I believe there’s a separateness in our physiology and chemistry, a part that is made of atoms that are bound together to create mass, then there’s a stream of energy that has science at a disadvantage and is better left to the ancient yogi masters to explain. Science does not explain meridians or the sole, it explains things as in mechanics, and that’s ok because in some ways we are bio-machines, but certainly not all we are. I think that we are energetic vibrations that manifest atoms to express ourselves symbolically, which could explain why we come in all shapes and sizes, all so different from each other, but made of the same stuff. Is this getting too woo-woo for you?
This post is a bit of a ramble if you hadn’t guessed already, and you know what? It feels good to start with a thread and let it unravel, seeing where it takes you, I’m feeling better about my day already. Of late I’ve let my days unfold as naturally and as in tune with my feelings as possible, it’s been a way to de-stress my life. After Covid lockdowns, and reassessing life’s goals and ambitions I wanted to find stability however I could, and strangely enough it was through letting go and allowing my true self to guide the way without putting my will first that has enabled me to find inner peace, another way of putting it is setting my ego aside. That’s why when a day goes awry I get thrown off more than usual these days. But the days that do give me bumps and bruises have their purpose also, they let me know what does work for me and that part of my day needs to be put aside as a self-care routine, as in an hour of meditation and yoga, writing, or in cleaning the house, these are all things that have purpose and that contribute to my self-care. So it’s back to my meditation cushion today and some deep breathing to reset my nerves, neurones, and stardust.